During college I went through three failed relationships and remembered feeling like my world was going to end when things didn't turn out how I expected. The last relationship ended less than six months after I graduated, and I couldn't believe I was going to have to start all over again. I was now 23, single, and heartbroken that things were not going as planned. I spent a significant amount of time refusing to accept that it was over and begged and prayed for God to bring us back together. When I finally realized it was just not meant to be, I began to move on. I went on dates that went nowhere and found it very hard to find anyone I felt a real connection with. I started to lose faith and wondered if I was ever going to have the life I so deeply desired and prayed for.
A few months before my 25th birthday, I prayed for God to remove the heaviness I had in my heart and to strengthen my faith in Him. After truly reflecting on my life and faith, I realized that I had spent too many years trying to make God follow my plans, my will, in my way and my time; which is the complete opposite of how we are called to live. I was ashamed of my lack of faith and trust in Him. For the first time, I asked for His will to be done and not mine. I prayed that my will would be aligned with His and for him to remove any desires from my heart that were not a part of his plans for me. I asked that if it was His will for me to get married and have a family, for it to happen in His perfect way and time. I immediately felt at peace and my heart began to heal.
Over the next six months I started making positive changes. I stopped staring back at the closed doors in my life and began focusing on living each day in the present. I spent more time in church and in prayer. I took better care of myself by eating healthier and working out. I strengthened my relationships with family and close friends. I became truly grateful for each day and did not take a single moment for granted. I went on trips with close friends and started taking Salsa and Bachata classes. I discovered how much I loved dancing and had a great time meeting new people and enjoying the music.
There were still times when I was lonely, and I would think about how wonderful it would be to able to share my life with someone. When I started to feel impatient or discouraged, I would immediately pray for God's will, His perfect peace, and understanding. I continued to hold on to my faith that He had a plan for me, knew what was best for me, and was working out the details. Then, when I least expected it, my future husband came into my life. I thanked God for making me wait as long as he did. I found someone I can share my faith and goals with that mirror my own. The greatest part is that we bring out the best in each other. After almost 2 years of dating, we are now engaged. God willing, we will be married this October.
I will be 29 years old when I walk down the isle, 7 years later than what I had previously planned and prayed for, and I would not have it any other way. The only regret I have is not fully trusting in God's timing and plan during those times of loneliness and confusion. It would have saved me from so much heartache, doubt, worry, and restless nights. God knows exactly what is best for us and if we truly have faith and trust in him, we will see that his plans are far better than what we could ever need or want for ourselves.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.
This post was written by Kristyn Evans, Guest Contributor for Wholly Feminine's Blog.
About the author: Kristyn Evans grew up in a small town in west Texas and moved to the Dallas-Fort Worth area over 10 years ago. She became interested in the Catholic faith shortly after beginning college. After a year and a half in the RCIA program at Immaculate Conception Catholic Church, she received her baptism, confirmation, and first communion. She is strengthening her faith and relationship with God daily, and strives to be a positive light to anyone she encounters.